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Thursday, August 28, 2008

KuKd/TTC Word of the Week: BOGS

Greetings KuKd Strong Mommas and Inquisitive Guests!

The other day, I was trying to think of a new vocabulary word for the unique stain of booby-milk, frozen pea juice, and melted ice that forms on a woman's sports bra after stillbirth (whoever can guess what frozen pea juice and ice have to do with booby milk gets a dollar).

That got me thinking, wouldn't it be cool to have a KuKd/TTC Word of the Week, generated by reader suggestions and/or my own twisted mind? There are so many nouns and verbs affiliated with KuKd/TTC (or any traumatic event, for that matter) that there aren't words for, from the act of obsessively screwing as much as possible during that one little window of so-called fertility, to the snot-soaked ball of disintegrated mush that Kleenex turns into after a bout of hardcore bawling. Somebody needs to think of what to call these things!

Of course, language-making endeavor will mean potentially coming up with 52 words - yikes - over the course of a year (not that I won't have gotten so completely burned out by this topic and deleted the entire blog during a moment of over-caffeinated insanity by August '09). Nonetheless, I thought I'd give it a try, for even if it doesn't happen every single week, it will still serve to make the English language a bit richer.

And if you ever think of any others you'd like to suggest and define, post a comment or shoot me an e-mail, and I'll add your word to our official democratic KuKd/TTC Dictionary.

To kick it off, I thought I'd start with a word that my regular readers already know, but that's worth reinforcing with a quick definition and related musing. Our first KuKd/TTC Word of the Week is:


Stands for for Books, Grief Counselors and Social Workers. Stereotypical BOGS (or BOGS book author) is a middle- to upper-middle class white woman, usually in the 45-60 age range, who is unlikely to have gone through what you're going through, but acts like she has. Enjoys giving unsolicited advice and getting involved in your drama, kind of like an obnoxious mother-in-law, and chose this profession for that very reason.

Things NOT to say to BOGS (followed by what BOGS will be thinking in response) if you happen to be at a counseling session or support group:

"I'm fine." (BOGS: No, you're not! Your life sucks and you're depressed! When are you going to realize that!)

"I'd like to try again for a baby as soon as possible." (BOGS: No, no, no. You can't say hello to a new baby until you've said goodbye to this one. Rookie mistake. So come back after you've cried eight buckets of tears, eaten a bottle of sleeping pills and nearly slit your wrists, and listened to some depressing Marilyn Manson tune about how much life just blows. THEN we can talk about you trying again.)

"That stillbirth thing? Oh yeah, I'm still trying to get over it." (BOGS: No you're not! You are not, nor will you ever be, 'over it' - and how dellusional of you for even thinking such a thing. People don't get over dead babies, so you'd better get used to being miserable for the rest of your life, honey.)

"I'm coming to terms with not being a mom." (BOGS: WHAT??!? You ARE a mom, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise! Never mind that you don't have a actual CHILD to take care of. Minor detail. You're a mom, you're a mom, you're a mom.)


Again, shoot me a comment if you have a word or definition with accompanying story, if applicable, to add.


Katie said...

don't forget about the rare throw-back BOGS, the 30-something 7 month pregnant BOGS.

You- "No one knows how I feel"
BOGS- Oh honey, I do. OMG the baby just kicked!!!!"

Katie said...

BTW, I LOVE this idea!!!

Monica LeMoine said...

Ahh, I'd forgotten about the rare throw-back BOGS. RTBBOGS - or something shorter.

sharonvw said...

Good idea Mon.
I have a word for the obsessive "love making" that occurs during the "fertile" period of an infertile couple. Its kinda rude though, so I'll give you a clue and you can figure out the rest.
Its derived from one of my favorite 5 letter words. Starts with an F, as a CK in the middle and ends with an ing!
And it can be used to describe many things, like for intance the 7 month pregnant BOGS. For them, we start with a word: dumb and then go on to my favorite 5 letter word but end it this time with an s. Or you can start with the word stupid and end my favorite 5 letter word with an er!
See how much fun that is? I love come up with new ways to use my favorite word! :-)

Monica LeMoine said...

Yes, F with the CK in the middle is a very versatile word, Shaz.

anabelle said...

haha yeah the going away party was super.. just kidding.. it involved cake and a pathetic looking vegetable platter, while I sat at the head of a large conference table with a bunch of my coworkers. there were quite a few people there I cared about though, so of course the hugs came and so did the tears. I left work shortly there afer, walked down the long hall way out to the front door for the last time... climbed in my car, and sobbed uncontrolably for 15 minutes. blah

a friend sent me this link... to make me feel better... check out song number 2... it about sums up how I feel, and yes, that really is where I worked.... perfect