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Saturday, August 2, 2008

A Timeline of Healing: Two (or so) Years of KuKd

3 Weeks After KuKd #1: Biking in Canada. What? My crotch can handle this, all while I'm convinced that I have brain cancer AND just delivered a 16-week fetus? Um, okay. I'll believe it when we get there.

3 Months After KuKd #1: Dance Party! Beer plus getting my freak on with K equals happiness. My brain cancer scare is over, for now.

4 months after KuKd#1, visiting with my sister-in-law and nephew. She made a baby; why can't I? I think my ovaries are rotting.

11 months after KuKd #1. Knocked Up Again. Woo-hoo! Ovaries and brain are just fine, and I have a carte blanche to spend unlimited money on groceries at Whole Foods. I am SO over KuKd #1. Sorry little boy fetus.

NO FREAKIN' WAY. KuKd#2. Sorry, but these kinds of things don't happen twice, unless you're like, a serial killer and deserve it. We scatter Zach's ashes at Carkeek Park, and host a brunch afterward. I randomly realize that I accidentally got sundried tomato instead of veggie cream cheese for the brunch, and this disturbs me. Sundried tomatoes taste too much like fruit leather. Then I feel guilty about thinking of something so trival right now. It's your baby's freakin' memorial service Monica. Get over the cream cheese.

4 Months Later: Christmas cookies and wine (yum!) with my non-KuKd mommy friends. Holy Ouch, but I did it! Starting to realize: I'm OK. I think.

4.5 Months Later: Garlic Shrimp in Ecuador - HOLY FREAKIN' YUM. Baby or no baby, this sh*t's good.

7 Months Later: California road trip with both my boys and a hefty supply of $3.99 White Zin, my personal favorite. Starting to write my book on the laptop in the car. Life isn't so bad, really, when you have those anti-motion-sickness wristbands from Walgreen's.

Weetabix Cereal. This awesomely unique cereal got me through lots of hard days. Consists of bricks of flaked, compressed wheat. Learning how to add the exact right amount of milk takes finesse and patience, and after lots of post-KuKd practice, I think I've got it. Very British, with the fancy seal inscribed with something like made in honor of the royal queen or some such thing. How cute to honor your royal ruler like that, on a cereal box of all things.

IN CONCLUSION: Life as a KuKd Tribeswoman is full of ups and downs. These are just a few of the ups that have gotten me to where I am now. Sitting beside my honey in a Slovakian Internet cafe, on our way out to have a beer. With no screaming, poopy-arse kid to stop us.


Shaz said...

Haha, Mon, here's to you for always finding the glass half full!
I'm in agreement at the moment, so many things are way more fun with no screaming, poopy arsed kids in the way! :-)
Or at least that's what I keep trying to tell myself.

Sweetpea said...

What an amazing 'summary' of something that is virtually impossible to summarize in a single blog post. You've managed to capture the total craziness that was your situation while trying to survive, process, and move forward. What a journey!

eggorchicken said...

Hey :)
I just accidentally stumbled upon your blog - wow! It's beautiful, raw and real, and so, so honest.
I look forward to seeing your book on the shelves, it's bound to be fabulous if your Blogging is anything to go by!!
I'll definitely be lurking in the future :)