Greetings, Coffee Grounds! You'll want to sit down for this one.
It saddens and embarasses me to report: I caved. It happened fifteen minutes ago. I needed inspiration to write the next chapter of my book, and some energy to get ready for tonight's cocktail party. But that brick on my brain was blocking any sort of motivation to do anything other than sit and stare at the wall. And then, the espresso machine ten steps away started calling my name.
"Monnnnnnnicaaaaaaaaaaa," it said in a deep and womanly voice. Hypnotizing, with undertones of evil, like the witch in Snow White. I ignored it at first. "A double latte...just two little shots...won't hurt you or your uterus. Come here, my pretty!"
And that's all it took. Overcome by primitive urges, my body screaming for a buzz, I succumbed. And here I am now, having savored and downed a tall size double latte with whole milk (organic). As I sit here now, life is suddenly a brighter place, and I'm off to chip away at my book!
Today's chapter draft to be edited: the Yeast versus Bacterial Tribes of Vaginistan. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, consider yourself lucky.