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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Lester the Molester?

Greetings Knocked Up, TGKU (Trying to Get Knocked Up), KuKd, Anti-Knocked-Up, Never-Been-Knocked-Up, and Got-Knocked-Up-and-Now-Spend-Your-Days-Windexing-Poop-
Handprints-Off-the-Wall Readers and Inquisitive Guests!

So, I've been Googlinating today instead of working on my book - guilty as charged. And in the process, I came across a testimony of this guy who saw - I mean, literally SAW, his two miscarried children in heaven! Of course, I had to keep reading, thinking this is really a guy I ought to request as my friend on Facebook (plus, anything written in magenta font against a lavender-pink background has GOT to be good):

"I have babies in heaven. My wife suffered two miscarriages and Father God graciously showed them to me, on two occasions. They are so cute. They looked about two years old. Their eyes were bright and full of life. I could see the joy on their faces. Once I saw them sitting on Father’s lap."

SCREEEECH! Hold the brakes - did you just say "sitting on Father's lap???" Sorry dude, but if I looked up there and saw Zachary sitting on "Father's lap," I'd be more than a little disturbed. I'd be like, "hey Father Lester the Molester, keep your mother-effing paws off my son."

Anyway, I cleared my throat and kept reading:

"I grieve the loss, but I know that they will never have fear or pain. Not subject to the faults and frailties of human parenting, they thrive in the love of the Perfect Father. He cares for them and holds them. They experience things far beyond our imagination in a place continually filled with joy and music."

Whoa, Nelly. Stop right there. Does this sound like Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch or what? Run, Zachary, run! Don't accept candy from strangers, even if he kinda looks like Santa! Shout 911 and call for help!

There's more juicy stuff on this "huge website exalting christ," which I'll definitely return to later. I'm glad there's something out there at least warning me of what's going up there in Baby Heaven.


Michelle said...

HAHAHA I was going to write that a post just like that...(yea right)

I looked at that website and all I can say is if "sin" prevents you from getting a baby then I am screwed. We are all screwed!

Then they talk about murdering a "Christian" as wrong. Does that mean murdering a "non-christian" is right?

Michelle said...

I did mean I was going to write what He wrote (yea right)

I didn't mean your post. hehe After I posted I thought maybe it sounded like I was talking about yours.

Don't mind me I am a little crazy...


Monica LeMoine said...

Yes, Michelle - this website is positively loaded with enlightening tidbits. The murdering-Christian-as-wrong is a good one.