Greetings, Blossoming Writers!
I was talking to my friend J today, whose sister R (one of our very blogg-o-readers) is undergoing the yucky frustrations of infertility - failed IVFs and acupuncture and this-and-thats. It made hot tears well briefly behind my eyeballs. I started thinking about how TTC-ers and KuKd Mommas are alike, and J and I agreed that it all involves some variation of grief. Whether you're a KuKd Momma or never-been-knocked-up-but-trying-damn-hard, at some point you realize with dismay that what you thought would be easy is not, and may not - in fact - ever happen. This is a loss of a former self, a loss of a certain kind of innocent optimism. And like any loss, it results in some degree of coping.
Which brings me to an idea that's been percolating in my mind for some months now - the creation of a monthly literary magazine for the TTC/KuKd set, comprised of readers' submitted essays, poetry, columns, and even artwork/photography. There are lot of cool 'zines for so-called normal mommas - but what about the reproductively wacked? I believe that writing is hugely cathartic not just for me, but for others who are at a point in their lives where they need some human connection in this lonely-seeming journey of infertility or knocked-downage. Regardless of what your situation is, you certainly have a unique perspective that others can benefit from. Even if you yourself are not a KuKd/TTC momma or you've already moved on, you most certainly have a unique and fresh perspective to share.
I hope to begin "soon" (knowing that "soon" is a relative term): a monthly literary journal - online for now, to save trees and headaches - comprised of essays, poetry, possibly even ARTwork/photographs submitted by expressive people like you and me. Official call for submissions will be coming "soon!" (I'd LOVE to have a men's column, by the way - how freakin' cool would that be).
But first, I need your votes on prospective magazine titles! Which is your favorite? Any others to suggest?
Whatever we're holding our breath for, we all have to stop and exhale at some point. Let go for a minute, debrief, take stock.
Is it motherly to want a child? I think so. Is it motherly to be told you'll never have a child of your own? Do we find other ways to mother? Perhaps we nurture ourselves and those around us instead.
I know - you're like, what does THAT mean? I wasn't sure either, so I looked it up. It essentially means the discovery of a good thing while looking for something else, kind of like an unexpected blessing. In search of child, we unexpectedly find voice, humanity, insight, wisdom, humor, strength, self, peace. Someone once told me this word is officially listed in the "top ten most difficult-to-translate English words." Perfect for a magazine name - nobody will know what it means!
See last sentence in "Serendipity" above. Same reason.
Shifting realities, shifting views, shifting moods. I really feel that life through the eyes of a KuKd/TTC woman is like looking through a prism or a fun house mirror. My only concern with "Shift" is that I fear it might look pretentious - what with all its one-word, simplistic arrogance. "Shift," baby, and if you don't know why this magazine is called that, you're just not cool enough to read it.
Same reason as "shift" above. There are so many feelings and emotional vomit associated with TTC/KuKd, that this might be an appropriate namesake. I wonder, though, if it sounds too much like some kind of reader for elementary school kids. Like "Reading Rainbow" or some such childishness.
Conception Secrets of the Virgin Mother Mary (how the fuck DID she do that anyway?!)
Just kidding, dawg.
Penis + Vagina = Baby, and Other Lies Your Mother Told You
Another just kidding, dahling.
I think Ivy is such a pretty name for a girl. That aside, I picture TTC/KUKD women sometimes as ivy climbing up a trellis, grabbing on to what we can, changing course from time to time, overcoming setbacks, constantly aiming higher.