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Sunday, December 7, 2008

What Happens to Dead Babies? An Introductory Lesson

Greetings, KuKd Strong Mommas and Inquisitive Guests!

Today I'm putting on my teacher hat, even though it's Sunday. With the holidays coming up, now is a good time to give the stillborn and miscarried kids of the world - both ours and others' - an affectionate holiday shout out. To that end, and in their honor, Miss Monica will be focusing fairly heavily this month on knocked-down kids - what's become of them, and why we should all be insanely jealous of the Hollywood-esque afterlife they are living.

Let's begin with a brief lesson on where they are now, our knocked-down babes. Contrary to popular belief, they are not merely frozen, lifeless entities moving around the vast, aching space inside our memories. Take heart, melancholy mommies out there; our kiddies are in good hands.

When our fetus' and babies' lives are cut short by Mother Nature, they are conveniently swept up to baby afterlife, sometimes referred to as Babe-istan, via shuttle bus:

Happy the Dragonfly is like their little fairy god-bug, hovering from baby to fetus to baby to fetus, telling them soothing words and handing out warm chocolate chip cookies:

They are brought to the Mad Cool Realworld Penthouse for Bitchin' Stillborn and Miscarried Babes, where Happy the Dragonfly shows them to their rooms:

There, they are greeted with an infinite supply of foodstuffs:

On weekdays, our knocked-down kiddies go to school just like any other kid.

Here, they are taught and looked after by the highest caliber of professional educators. Meet Miss Buttercup, homeroom teacher and Teach for Baby-stan volunteer, fresh out of college:

There's Zed the Zenmaster, yoga instructor, who gives our kiddies better meditation skills than any of us have:

There's Gary Granola, the gentle art teacher, who also plays the role of Santa during the holidays. Everyone loves him:

And of course, there's Father Fritz, the religion teacher. Don't think our kiddies are missing out on spirituality:

Some of our kiddies - the older ones, mostly - participate in the School Air-Dance Squad. Apparently, gravity is less of an issue in Knocked Down Baby-stan:

So there you have it - a brief overview of what's happening with our miscarried and stillborn babes. Living the high life, and looking down at this war-ridden earth.

More to come later! For now, close your notebooks and put down your heads for nap time.


Michelle said...

I feel so much better knowing they are in Baby-stan living the high life. Thanks for the lesson. You are a GREAT teacher.

*~*Lis*~* said...

I love the Magic School Bus! Seriously I watched it just 6 or 7 years ago while sipping my AM coffee 'cuz I hated real news!

Thanks for the lesson!

lis said...

i am crying and smiling while reading this. how comforting to think of my babies being loved and taken care of. and yoga, duh, of course!
your silly, clever post gave me a bit of peace just now. thank you.