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Thursday, March 19, 2009

Vocabulary Brainstorming Session

Good Morning, Flax Flakes!

With mind and colon both in a good mood, let me begin the day with a totally random thought, because I'm a human being and I have such thoughts frequently. Then, it's time to put on our linguistic thinking caps.

Here's the random thought: I understand why Kevin likes to leave the bathroom door wide open and the vent turned on while we're taking hot showers (I'm not necessarily talking about hot showers TOGETHER, although that would be included in this scenario). I just don't like to do it.

When I'm taking a hot shower, I like the water to be really, really hot. And when I step out of the shower, I like it to be a seamless experience in terms of temperature. That is: I like the dry space that I step into to be relatively warm as well, so that my body doesn't go into instant hypothermia and break out into goosebumps all over, negating all of the positive happy warming effects of the hot shower I just took.

I don't like it when, unless the shower curtain is pressed against the white ceramic tile wall on both ends to create an airless seal, there is a draft of cold air interrupting my hot shower experience. I don't like it when the shower curtain blows slightly inward from the draft, touching my blissfully hot, wet, naked body (can't wait to see the Google search terms that lead people to THIS post). I don't like stepping out of the shower into a cold, drafty space and having to mummify myself in a towel in order to stay reasonably warm.

That's why I like to keep the door shut, vent off. I know it's a bad thing to do, but I don't care if spots of mold form on the ceiling! I don't care if the paint on the door starts to peel! I don't care if moisture from my shower seeps into all of the cracks and crevices and pores of the bathroom walls, turning the entire bathroom into a cube of rotting, termite-infested wood! When I step out of the shower, I want to step into a warm, non-drafty space, period.

Just had to put that out there.

Moving on.


Here we go: thinking caps, everyone! Thinking caps!

Here's what we know:

The official name for loss, once no longer in its rawest acute form at the forefront of your mind, is Quinoa, aka Milo. Glad we've ironed that out.

Now, I need your suggestions for the following terms, which apparently don't have suitable names. Let's start with the obvious ones:

1) Stillbirth. Why does that sound so medieval to me? Sorry, but "still" doesn't quite cut it, doesn't exactly capture the essence of what's going on. I'd go so far as to say the term "stillbirth" gives me the creeps, reminding me of a porcelain baby statue, sitting still and dust-coated on an old lady's fireplace mantel. A dead baby is much more than a "still baby." So we need a new word for "stillbirth."

I've thought of things like Dirth (my son's/daughter's Dirth - death + birth); Shot Down Stork (get it? if you don't get it, just ask, and an astute reader or myself will explain it); Rude Awakening (as in: pregnancy like a beautiful dream, and then someone shakes you in the middle of the night, forcing you up and out of that reverie); Target Returns (as in: that baby gear you bought now gets to be sadly, emotionally returned - unless you figure out something else to do with hit); Abrupt Halt; Card Collapse (someone likened it to "collapse of a house of cards); ASS ("Awful Shitty Surprise" or "Abruptly Stopped Sneeze); USO (Unexpected Shitty Outcome); UFO (Unexpected Fuckity-Fuck Outcome); SANU (So Awful, Nobody Understands), etc.

Any others?

2) Due Date. I'm talking, of course, about that day when the knocked-down baby was supposed to be due. I'm drawing a blank here. Maybe something like: Chocolate-n-Kleenex Day? Ball Point Pen Day (the day you had circled on your calendar)? Smudged Ink Day (now smudged)?

3) That thing that you feel whenever you're around happy pregnant women, or happy women with babies. What the hell IS that feeling? To me, it's like throwing whole bunch of emotional tidbits into a big cauldron and letting it simmer for a while: jealousy, wistfulness, disappointment, resentment, some joy and happiness thrown in too (we're not a bunch of heartless monsters, after all!), sudden urges to sprint in the opposite direction and squeeze one of those squeezy stress's just this slate-gray ball of something in the stomach.

What IS it?

I'll stop there with the word creation. Let me know your thoughts - no new vocabulary word is too ridiculous. No experience with KuKd is necessary.

Here's to community brainstorming!


Heather said...

Stillborn = Unborn...sort of like undead (Vamps) since nothing was BORN!!

Due Date = DOA (Date of Avoidance, since any and all things will prbably be avoided that day! Plus, the universe managed to avoid giving me a baby that day!)

The feeling = The Ugh-lies (as in lots of little Ugh's at once!!)

BTW, on random husband and I got round and round about this too!

A random thought from you think you could post every hour or so? You're satire keeps me from putting a bullet in my brain...but no pressure or anything. :)

Oh, and the "Word Verification" that I have to use to leave a comment is "eprega"...too close to in being pregnant...seriously? WTF!?

Michelle said...

Monica I am the EXACT same way aout the shower!. The only difference is we do not have a vent in our bathroom.

For #1 I like USO

I will think about the other 2 and get back to you.

Monica LeMoine said...

Heather - damn, girl. Every hour? Um....if I tried to post every hour, you probably wouldn't like what I was posting anymore. Like your word ideas - they will definitely go on record.

Michelle- thx for checking in and giving feedback. Glad we see eye 2 eye on the shower thing.

B MoM said...

For #1 I vote for ASS b/c that's what it is....its sucks ASS. I wish I were as clever as you or even commenter heather for the other words..but i'll be happily reading away to see what gets picked. for the record, I still use your previously created word - googlinate in my regular vocabulary.

sharonvw said...

I'm like you about the shower, especially in winter!!!!
And I like Dirth Day the best!

Coming2Terms said...

That thing that you feel whenever you're around happy pregnant women, or happy women with babies....this one is easy: melanrageous.

That's the combination of melancholgy, rage and nauseous -- not at them per se, but at the unfairness of why some women are denied the opportunity for the same joy.

Heather said...

melanrageous - I LOVE THAT!!

Viktoria said...

I dreamt of a new vocab word just last night. Still Life. In art the subject of still life is one or more objects. Objects not people; it’s not a portrait. Persephone was dead two days before she was “born”. What I struggled to get out of me was an empty object. Beautiful but hollow. Her spirit or essence was long gone as I held the vessel that should have contained it. And after that my life became still, stagnant. Every previous version of my future erased because my future had been full of portraits. Baby photos. First steps. School pictures. Sports teams. First big dance. Etc.

The Ughlies, I like that, Heather. Because when I know I’m going to be in one of those situations my first reaction is “Ugh” like a kick in the gut. By the time it’s over I feel ugly too.

Great post, Monica. oxoxoxox
I don’t know if I have finally convinced him or if he just got tired of listening to me whine about a drafty bathroom but Joe make sure the heater is on (vent is off) before we shower. And yes, we always shower together. :)

Chris said...

Great blog, however one things puzzles me? What does "KuKd X3" mean?

Monica LeMoine said...

First of all, CHRIS: are you a guy? Seriously, are you a guy? By that I mean, are you a person with a penis? Because if you are a guy, I'm going to jump up off this butt-imprinted futon and do a back flip of shock.

There are only a few other bona fide guys that I know of who ever, ever, ever read this blog (not even Kevin, the person whose penis I know best). If you're not a guy, that's perfectly fine, but if you are a guy, I just gotta know about it.

KuKd x3 = knocked up knocked down x3. That is, in my case, miscarriage + stillbirth + anembryonic pregnancy. It's like being part of a gang, and you get tattoos or bracelets or something for every time you do X or Y.

OK, everyone else - I'm liking this community brainstorming so far! Looks like the "ughlies" might be on the short list so far for "THAT FEELING."

Heather said...

Feels exhillerating when you see a dude on your blog huh!? I have 2! :) No, I'm not bragging...not really, I just get the excitement! Weird. Anyhow, and I hope he doesn't mind...if you want to go find a baby loss daddy's's one:

Monica LeMoine said...

Sweetness - I'm heading over there right now to check out Hurting on the Sidelines.

namastemom said...

I read kukd as being "cooked" as in overdone, burned. Glad you explained that.

Still LIfe...I like that.
and melanrageous.

My dead baby's dirthday is the DOA day--Died on her due date.

Brenna said...

I like still life, USO and melanrageous! Great words/terms. I'll have to think about the others and see if I can come up with any offerings.

I'll do a take on melanrageous. I get wistful, happy and envious all at once: wenvyness. That's what I feel around the preggers and the babies. Definitely wenvyness.

"numb_was_better" said...

stillbirth - Birth Audible (One the football fans can get behind

Due Date- Plan A Day

As for the feeling...I just call it "the funk"

Rebecca said...

I vote for wenvyness and DOA. Damn, you peeps are creative!

Me said...

What's the point of a shower, if immediately after getting out of the shower, you become sweaty from the sauna-like enclosure that is your closed-door-closed-vent bathroom?

I'm with Kevin on this one. Well, not literally showering with him...that's your job.

Amyrun said...

So I'm responding to this one way late, but I just had an interesting vocab experience and thought I'd post. First, I've come to despise the word "stillbirth" in the five months since "the event."

We occasionally have a woman clean our house who speaks only a small amount of English. She cleaned a few times pre-baby and definitely witnessed the house slowly filling with baby items and pregnancy-related stuff.

She came today to clean and asked how the baby was doing. I used the "s" word and started to explain what happened. She said she didn't understand what I was saying, and so I rephrased. "She died," I said. That translated, and I immediately wondered why we use such a silly word instead of just saying "die" or "dead" or "death."