UPDATE: The Knocked-Down Hunk Gallery is now available! Click here.
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Greetings KuKd Homegirls/Boys and Inquisitive Guests!
Let's do something totally warped and wacky to temper the foul mood of a few posts ago, shall we? Yes, we shall!
Let me first say that if this idea is, in fact, completely warped and wacky, I take full responsibility for its warpedness and wackiness. For those of you who are new here, I'm sorry if I've given you the impression that I'm a normal person - frankly, I've forgotten what "normal" even means. But that's another post, or perhaps a suitable chapter in a Philosophy 101 textbook.
Here it is - are you ready? Are you sitting down? Is your mug of coffee firmly ensconced in your hands lest you drop it out of sheer surprise and delight? Are you firmly bracing yourself, both physically and mentally? Drum roll please:
It's the First International Knocked Down Hunk Contest! WOO-HOO! I know, I know. Isn't it astounding to think that a man whose penis produced sperm resulting in knocked-down offspring could POSSIBLY be sexy? No, not astounding at all. In fact, just like losing a baby/fetus automatically makes a woman much wiser and cooler than before, the same is true for oft-forgotten Knocked Down Hunks.
Here are the contest rules.
HOW IT WORKS: E-mail a photograph of the nominee, along with an optional 3-sentence explanation of why this particular Knocked Down Daddy-o should be voted for the Hunkiest Knocked Down Hunk in the World, to Monica, Contest Coordinator at email@example.com by FRIDAY, MAY 1st. Put "Knocked Down Hunk Contest" in the subject line.
All entrants will be posted in a Knocked Down Hunk gallery - yes, eye candy galore - for everyone to vote on democratically. The winning HUNK will get something wonderful! I can't tell you what that wonderful thing is, because I haven't thought of it yet, but trust me - it's going to be wonderful!
You are welcome and encouraged to spread the word to your KuKd friends and show off your Knocked Down Hunkiness (or your man's knocked down hunkiness) by adding this image to your blog or website with a link back to this post:
WHO QUALIFIES: Any knocked down daddy qualifies to nominate himself, or be nominated by someone else. To qualify, you must have participated actively (sperm-shootingly) in the co-production of a baby-esque entity that got knocked down via anything. That includes blighted ovum, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, and anything else I'm forgetting. It doesn't matter how long ago it occurred, or how many children you do/don't have now, how "over it" you are or think you are, how many subsequent successful pregnancies you co-produced. If you EVER fathered a knocked down baby-esque entity, you qualify.
OTHER GENERAL GUIDELINES: Any kind of picture is fine, just no cock-shots, please! I do still have an ounce of class in me, people. It can be a picture of his cute face, or - if you're not comfortable posting his face proudly - a neck-down shot highlighting, perhaps, his lovely six-pack and white-toothed smile. It could be a representative shot, like a picture of those excellent scones he knows how to bake (although, just to warn you, I probably won't vote for him as Hottest Hunk Alive based on scones alone). WhatEVer. Be creative and convey his knocked-down hunkiness in words and pictures. Make us vote for him!
And remember: the deadline is FRIDAY, MAY 1st - so spread the word!
OMIGOD this is so exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Clouds already dissipated, replaced by fleeting imaginings of sunlight casting shadows on KuKd men's pectorals!
Oh, and let me just tag a few unsuspecting blog-o-folks now to follow through on this: