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Friday, November 6, 2009

Feeling Big

Dear Mother Nature:



We're in the lead so far, bee-yatch! Us: one. You: zero. Despite your tetonic-plate forces shoving people's lives around, Fetus Causing my Torso to Swell (MFCTS) has thus far avoided your sneaky X-linked tricks (good job passing the first heart-test of your fetushood, MFCTS).

I feel big, bigger than this earth, bigger than the tsunami-hail-storm causing forces around me, bigger than my own huge belly. That's me: Big Fat Marge, Large and In-Charge. We humans are all the shit! We are all that and then some - in control of our destinies provided we eat our bran flakes, exercise for 30 minutes a day, brush our teeth, and occasionally do voluntary good works for society. Right? Right! Nothing can stop us from conquering the earth - not even you, Mother Nature! We are winning, you are losing!

* * *

Wait a minute. Isn't it you, Ma' Nature, that makes life in the first place? Aren't you the reason behind the MFCTS' current state of alive-n-thrivingness, thwarting your own tendency to randomly snuff out life? So...um...that must mean you're beating yourself! You're fighting yourself, and beating yourself! Ha ha! Joke's on you!

(?)

(thinking myself in circles)

* * *

Anyway. I'm happy. Kevin's happy. We had great sex today (the decadent rainy-afternoon kind) and now we're off to happy hour, if that's any indication. I'm ordering mozzerella sticks, too - deep fried-n-all. So there!

I don't want a KuKdx4 badge. Keep it, dude. KuKdx3 makes me a reproductive freak as it is. So x4, nuh nuh no. Beating Mother Nature so far makes me feel big, strong, arrogant, triumpant - more powerful than I know I really am. But I'm going to ignore that little bit of Debbie-Downer knowledge creeping in the back of my mind, and feel all artifically high on myself, high on that Fetus, surely a pro-football quarterback in the making. The fact that a Buddist scholar would tell me otherwise, remind me that WE HUMANS ARE PIDDLY LITTLE PAWNS AND NOT AS BIG-ASS BIG AS WE THINK WE ARE, well, I'm ignoring it for a sec. Because losing what you want makes you feel like a beaten down fool, so I'm reveling in the gloating for a minute.

Just for a minute anyway, until the next test comes around. ;-)

22 comments:

Hope's Mama said...

Breathing out with you, Mon! Best news I've heard in ages.
Fuck you, Mother Nature! (But I don't mean that, really I don't!! Still need that bitch on my side and so do you!)

*~*Lis*~* said...

Way to go MFC(Monica's)TS!!!

Anonymous said...

YESSSSS!!!!!!

Karen said...

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh so happy for you guys, Monica! I have been thinking of you so much and hoping beyond hope that little guy was in the clear. Way to go, little MFCTS!!

Sharon said...

*sigh* Relief!!!! I'm so happy to hear that the first hurdle has been crossed!
All the best!!!
xxx

Pundelina said...

woohooooooo!!

xox

Fireflyforever said...

oh YAY, YAY, YAY!!

myskytimes said...

Wohoo... glad to hear some good news! Enjoy some more rainy afternoons and cherish the "bigness"... And knock down everybody that tells you different... ;)

Amy said...

Glad to hear all is going well so far. Enjoy those Moz sticks of deep fried goodness!

therootofallevel said...

giggidy giggidy!

Sara said...

Wow! I feel like I've been holding my breath for you ever since you announced - so elated to hear this update!!! You so deserve this gloat!

Brenna said...

YAY! (indeed)

You go scoff down some well-deserved mozzarella sticks, your bigness. I'm over here all puffed up and hugely happy on your behalf (and on behalf of that kickin' little fetus in there!).

Amy said...

So glad to hear the good news!!!

Annette said...

monica!!! you already know how big i'm smiling... tell that little man i'm coming to visit soon so I can feel him kickin'. xoxo

abbaarik said...

oh i'm so happy for you, i am breathing a sigh of relief and have tears in my eyes too. enjoy your night out.

xox

Being Me said...

*gasp* HOORAY!!! Keeping my excited hand gestures to a minimum. I understand the tests and the need to keep things nice and paced in the "we jumped that hurdle" dept. xxx

Parenthood For Me said...

Wonderful news! Hope the mozz stix were good. yum

chicklet said...

Yahooza! Let's keep the good news coming, and the big feelings bigger:-)

Michelle said...

YAY! Good for you! I love good news!!

KuKd Chick said...

THANKS, peeps!

the misfit said...

So good to hear!

Desiree said...

HOLLAAAAAAA!!!! I'm so happy for you Monica! Walk tall, girl! Stick your belly way out, you won a round! That's all it is and you still have some fighting to do but CELEBRATE winning this round!!!!

Go MFCMonica'sTS! It's (almost) ya birthday!

Okay, so it really doesn't flow as well if you modify the lyrics but you get the idea... :-)

YAAAAAAY!