Quick filler news-byte:
EEEEEE!!! Somebody pinch me please.
Regarding today's earlier post (see below): all is cool on the ultrasound front. Even the lab-coat-clad technicians were smiling. KuKd gals in this "pregnancy-after-loss" category like me, well, we take what we can get. Little things - little words like "normal" - get us all pumped up and make us blast Jay-Z in the living room and shake our butts. Which I did - or started to do - until I just about injured myself. It simply astounds me that the word "normal" can appear on a KuKdx3 gal's chart. Amazes me, really. We've done nothing to prepare for this baby - zero. Zilch. Zip. Nada. What do we do with all this unexpected...normalcy?
I might still make a pie this week anyway, AND have that KuKd goth dance party with the nipple piercing station in the corner. If this baby really comes into the world, I need to figure out how to keep Zachary alive in my body, mind, soul, household at the same time. My history of baby-death still weaves itself in and out of me like a black ribbon, not to ever be shed or let to, even as cautious hope for new life creeps in. So they need to coexist: that past, this future.
But that's a whole 'nother post.